A Cleansing Fire

I spent a good part of the morning in front of a roaring fire - burning cards and letters that my ex had saved over the course of our relationship.

I acquired these items last week because she had everything (including furniture, items her Mom gave her, pictures of her kids when they were babies right up thru HS, her own baby pics, her HS year books and other memories) packed away in a storage shed along with my grandmother's antique bedroom set.

She defaulted on the storage shed (to the tune of over $700) and was notified that if it wasnt paid in full that her shed would be auctioned off to the public.

She ignored those notifications.

I wanted my grandmother's bedroom set. I asked her to let me have access to the shed many times before she left here but she basically told me to "F" off on many occasions.

I guess she figured knowing what it meant to me that she would fix my ass making sure I wouldnt get it.

I went to the auction - and I got - AND the entire contents of the shed because you bid on EVERYTHING not just one item in it.

Im faced now with what to do with all this.

I feel bad for the memories of her kids, her parents, her own life that she left behind. I seem to have more sentiment about these things than she did otherwise it wouldnt have gotten to the point it did.

Im told that she has no legal claim to it anymore and that I shouldnt give a rats ass because SHE didnt nor did she care that I had things in there that I cared about as well.

Im working on seperating the emotional aspect of this.

I couldnt imagine some stranger having my grandmother's furniture.

I also couldnt imagine some stranger having access to all these items that were so personal....but I guess Im different.

So today, I burned everything that could possibly fall into the wrong hands.

The rest is still nagging at me.

Garage sale?
Ebay?
Garbage?
Find a way to get it back to her? Because I feel that would be the "right" thing to do. But its obvious that she didnt care so why should I care about the "right" thing.
Or just let it be.

I could have NEVER left all these things behind - thats just me.

Im still amazed and in shock that she could.

I know Im way too sensitive.

Anyway, the personal stuff is gone. And Im going to paint and distress the bedroom set for my sister (ugh, dont ask). Im just glad its staying in my family.