Settled but Unsettled

The"old" me which was actually the "younger" me, was full of stress, responsibility, financial burdens that were not my own and put in so many situatioins that were just unimaginable. I couldnt even possibly begin to make up the fucked up shit that was thrown at me. That I needed to deal with, fix, clean up or take care of all while trying to keep my sanity. I mean, I was expected to handle things that most people would have just run away from and never looked back on. But i did it - for a long time. WAY too long. Im embarrassed by so much of it. I always carry it with me even though it wasnt something I created. Its just always there. The "new" me which is actually the "older" me has none of the above (thankfully). Sure, I have a mortgage. MY mortgage - a lot of people do. But the stress, chaos and crazy stuff is over. But I have to admit - im finding it hard to figure out where I actually belong. So much of what was happening (for about 30 years) became part of my identity. I should be happy and carefree. And I guess on the outside I am. But inside - I feel kind of lost. Like Im still trying to find my purpose and somehow recover. I spent so much time dealing with everyone else. Their shit - but not mine. I have my own demons! Sounds crazy but I cant/wont accept the fact that I was put on this earth just to be here for the benefit of everyone around me. It cant be all I was meant to do. It Cant be. Can it? How do you find your purpose - at this age?