Its done...

She moved out.

But - just like I said - just like I felt....she did not leave here before causing even more damage.

She left here in handcuffs....with my father on the way to the E.R.

All of the ugliness came to a horrible boiling point that resulted in her pushing, swinging at and shoving my father. He shoved back. She wound up breaking his finger in three places.

The police were called.....by HER (because she is a moron)....and once they saw my Dad and got the story of what happened (witnessed by my Mom) she was arrested, charged with assault and battery. She was also charged with possession of marijuanna while being searched by the police officer.

We now have a restraining order against her. She is not allowed back in the house. She is not allowed near us or the property.

We have a court date next Tuesday.

She was allowed back here today with a police escort to get the remaining items she left behind...and thats it.

8 years of the craziness that was going on in this house. We lived so abnormal with her here that it almost became the norm - if that even makes any sense. So many things that happened that we just looked the other way on. But inside I knew...I knew it was wrong. But she was my sister.

All my life I covered for her. Made excuses for her. Even defended her. She was my sister. It was what I was supposed to do. Until I couldnt anymore. I cant live like this anymore. I cant have my parents living like this anymore.

She is dangerous.

She is out of control.

She is twisted.

She is sick.

I knew this would come down to ME taking control of the situation and being the bad guy here. My parents couldnt do it.

I started this with a very clear picture of right and wrong. I KNEW it had to be done for SO many of the right reasons. There was no looking the other way anymore or compromising my own feelings. No more making excuses for her.

I was sure.

I KNOW its the right thing.

I KNOW she had to leave.

I KNOW we needed to get her out of here.

I KNOW I had to protect my parents and this house.

I KNOW there was no other option.

I KNOW she was taking advantage of us.

I KNOW its not me.

I KNOW its going to be healthier here.

I KNOW things are going to start to return to normal in time.

I KNOW ALL of this.

And yet ...I sit here incredibly sad.

I lost my sister today (if in fact I ever really had a sister) - for good this time.

There is no going back.

Those lines between right and wrong seem a little fuzzy to me tonight. And Im not even really sure why.

She left here today with one final messege for me...

... on the counter downstairs in the kitchen she left all of the pictures she had of the two of us together from when we were growing up until now.

OUCH

I know did the right thing...so why am I questioning myself right now?

I know she is not shedding any tears. So why am I?