Relief...

So my houseguest left....

She just came for an overnight stay - to talk - to listen - to provide some wisdom - to comfort - to NOT judge.

I feel like a load was lifted.

Im not even sure the conversation was necessary. She made it clear that I need not feel obligated to provide ANY explanations. And that it didnt matter what happened. She wouldnt feel any differently. But I needed to explain - more for me. I wanted to get it out and I wanted to be clear about WHY I was speaking up.

So now its done. And I feel better.

Its just one more thing off a checklist of things that I have been wanting to do.

I like making progress.

I like what I feel. No - I LOVE what I feel.

For so long I just didnt feel anything - except down.

Life is so different now.

So full of great feelings, experiences, happiness, silliness, emotions and love.

I feel peaceful.

I love laughing.

Its not to say that there are not the usual problems because there are....but hey - I can deal.

I think back to what used to be my life...and I cant even imagine how I did what I did. It doesnt even seem real anymore.

I feel very fortunate to be where I am now.